I love him and all, but I just hate it that I get so clingy and dependent. *shudder*

The hard bitch in me died a couple of weeks ago.

In a very weird way, I'm waiting and even wanting him to hurt me. Go on, just do it. Make it as quick and painless as possible. I'll deal, I'll move on. I always have.

Maybe I'm more fucked up than I'd like to admit, more fucked up than I'd ever allow you to see because I'm so terrified of losing you.