This is progressing at a nice comfortable pace for me. He doesn't make me feel in any way pressured, isn't sending out signals that I'll feel uncomfortable dealing with, the perfect gentleman in all respects. Makes me realise how I've just been meeting all the wrong ones previously.

I hate the taste of my own words though. I remember proclaiming not too long ago how I'd never fall for a guy from my university. He just gives me such a warm fuzzy feeling everytime we hang out. I love his calm, measured way of speaking. I'm not sure if we're in the 'dating' phase yet, to be honest. Does that come when you both admit mutual attraction to each other? The potential pre-getting together phase? How do you know when you're just that little more than 'just friends'? I refuse to take all the assholes I've gone out with in the past as a benchmark.

I honestly hope he doesn't know how to get around this diaryland lock. I'm told that it isn't 100% secure.

Have to keep reminding self to play it cool. *repeats in a mantra-like fashion* I'm at the helm, I'm in control.

*

[Later] I have to gush again, before I explode. I hate it that I have to get so damned maternal. Maybe I can't ever be with someone who's had a fortunate a life as I have, and in a very warped way, maybe I'm compensating for lack of tragedy in my life with someone else's. He's strong, he seems well-adjusted, but then again maybe it's because we've barely scratched the surface of the personal. It's just that touch of vulnerability I'm such a sucker for. But rationally and logically, I should draw out the getting-to-know-each-other period. I'm scared, honestly. My track record with relationships has been less than perfect, to put it very mildly.