My mother and I are not on speaking terms now, what a way to start my holiday. The answer for me going to Australia to study is a flat out no, because I "haven't been able to convince" them that my reasons for going are justified. Needless to say, fireworks ensued, and we're being all formal and stiff and everything.

A lecture followed, something about me always thinking that everyone else is better than me blahblahblah, I NEVER appreciate how good my life has been blahblahblah, and she even compared MY life to my MAID'S life which is so fucking irrevelent. I mean, honestly. It's partly my fault for coming across so irrational, but I don't know how else or what else I should say to convince them. I have half a mind to just totally wreck my future completely by flunking out of NUS, which of course would be totally childish and stupid on my part, but the fact of the matter is, I couldn't give two hoots about my future anymore. I'm just going to graduate with mediocre grades, find some mediocre desk job and stay desk-bound for the rest of my life. What's the point? I don't even care too much if I die tomorrow. Yes, I know by saying all this I'm just subscribing to whatever she's just said about me but fuck it, if anyone else is thinking ill of me now, or is inclined to give me yet another lecture or even want to say anything comforting to me, don't bother. Yes, I'm dispensing with the niceties now.

I'm going to sound like a very tired old cliche now, but I just can't see the point in carrying on.