You know, I just might give this religion thing a shot.

Yes, I have to admit that it is due in part to the sociology discussions. I've been thoroughly convinced all along that I never really needed one. As of now, I suppose I have everything I need. The love of family and friends, I am not in want or dire need of anything.

But I can't ignore that I'm beginning to feel an inscrutable sense of emptiness, it's something that I can't quite put my finger on. It hits me occasionally in the form of the question, "...yet why am I not happy? or content?" I'm not sure if if I'm correct in using the two words interchangably, but let's just take it that there's no distinction between them at this point in time.

Why is it that I feel the need to constantly fill my life with endless worries about my weight or my grades? Why can't I just enjoy life as is?

You know that hoary old cliche that goes, "It's not what you get but how you get it?" It does contain a kernel of truth. It's the 'how' that keeps us going, striving, but what if there comes a point where there's just nothing else left to strive for? KM was trying to get across this point to me some time back but I don't think I've grasped the full meaning of what she was saying til now.

Will wait til after the exams to explore the possibilities of religion. It'll entail a load of reading, a load of introspection til I find one that suits me and as corny as it may sound, my spiritual needs. I'm still largely uncomfortable with the idea monotheistic religions, because I don't like the whole notion of how everything is pre-ordained. I think I saw a copy of the the Dalai Lama's The Art of Happiness around the house. That'd be good fodder for a start.