Have had similiar conversations with different people but we all draw the same conclusion: This IS the real world. We've stepped into it. The bitching, the gossiping, the back-stabbing, the information-hiding, and the zillions of other things that people are capable of that you might not even have thought possible.

I can imagine how my friends in law and engin have it worse. I just told Sher yesterday that you can expect people to be rotten towards you soon enough. But when you start morphing into one of them? Ah. That's the part that scares the bejeebers out of you.

It certainly doesn't help that there's no way you can survive in isolation. Somewhere, sometime, you have to start depending on people. And they're unreliable, more often than not.

I had a really nasty dream last night that saw me sobbing non stop post-dream. It's one of those vivid dreams you have when you're semi-conscious. You're living half in the dream-like state, clamouring to get out of it, but you can't, until you scare yourself into waking up.

Mom asked me today what I wanted to do with my life. Stunned with the sudden-ness of the question, I couldn't give a proper answer. I had to say SOMETHING, so I just said, Oh it'd be nice if I could start my own media company one day. Just a tiny one where I only have to employ 6 people to keep it going. Something like a Zo postcards advertising company, but of course, I'd have to come up with a whole new concept. It's something I've been toying with. I haven't any real ambition, I never really saw myself as the entrepreneurial type. Too fixated on short-term goals to think about the future seriously. The question still stumps me, but hopefully I'd have it thought out by then. Keep you updated.

Have reservations about the counsellor I'm meeting on Tuesday being male. I hope he isn't overtly friendly and accomodating (I don't mean that in the lecherous way). I'm going to bail if he does the whole "i-hope-we'll-be-great-friends-and-together-we-can-work-out-your-problems" act. Or if he smiles too much, it'll probably creep me out.

Am also pretty sad that she won't be updating anymore. And that he's on hiatus. Hopefully temporily. Shall respect your needs for respite. On a happier note, she's back on d*land, and d's updating again.