I was a wreck just before going for my run today. But after my bath I spent some time with my sister; solid quality time, and I felt much better.

Conclusion: The only way I can get out of self-indulgence, self-pity, self-loathing is to look past myself for once and start caring about the people around me.

I'm not saying that everything else will fall into place right away, but it certainly helps as a coping mechanism.

I'm thinking of fixing an appointment with my philosophy tutor, just to talk philosophy, but I have no idea what questions to ask, I mean, there are tons of things I'd like to ask, but they're hard to articulate. I love the subject you know, I really do. Would love to major in it, but I hate it that there's always the issue of practicality to consider.

I'm finally at the stage of my academic life where I can do something that I enjoy, really enjoy, and I'm not about to lose that chance just so I can get a degree in a course that I hate, so that I can get a job I'll loathe, and make tons of money that I won't have time to spend. It's strange but in a way, I have faith enough in my non-academic abilities, like EQ-related PR kinda abilities, and I'd like to think that that's what's going to secure me a job in the future.

If all else fails, I guess I wouldn't mind having kopi and chicken rice in a coffeeshop for the rest of my life, if only I could continue doing the things I enjoy. I really should be more skeptical and practical than this, but I don't want to lose my lust for life. Not yet.